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The Four Secrets to the Sexual Touch

It's tough to be the best Cow in the Herd - competing for the affection of one bull amounst many other cows, moreso if there's heifers about.

So you want to bring your bull to the edge of Nirvana, keep him hanging on there, wondering what you're doing, begging for mercy. Well, the secret is quite simple - just give that bull a full body workout of his senses. Even though every Bull is different, and eash has their special spots, I'll give you some sure-fire generic "Nothing can go Wrong" adivce. Follow these four steps and I promise you'll have your bull replacing divits in the field before you as you graze.

No such thing as Pressing Too Hard

Your average bull is weighing in a 1,000 pounds. He's no doubt an Adonisique mold of prime bullhood, the product of years of selective grazing and unrestritcted Bovinity. There's honestly nothing you can't do to him, to hurt him.

Bull hide tends to be thicker than even the oldest of Heifers. What makes you cringe no doub tmakes him say, "Oh yes!". With all that muscle, and the desensitivty from insects on his skin, most of the nerve endings just aren't close to his hide. So, show him your strength. Walk up along side him and ram him, butt heads with him. Give him a soft kick every now and then when he's behind you.

Change Things Around

Bulls have the pick of the herd - so don't give him the same old routine, getting bored with you. Make sure he doesn't become desensitized when he comes around to get some love. Try jumping to the side, or even start to walk backwards! It's easy to tell when's he's had enough, so when you sense it, change the tempo.

Clove, of Idaho, found that just teasing the bull during entry was enough to make him excited. "Of course, Butch just it when I just give him a Wham Bam Thank you Mam, but I found I can drive his excitement even higher if I make him work for it. Butch is a Bull who wants to feel he 'earned it'. And when he thinks he's in the clear, I normally jump forward a foot or two, making him get down and jump back up all over again!".

Supress your Jealousy

Sure, you want your bull for YOU, however, most bulls are excited when they think the cows have an open mind. Don't suggest to wait till night fall, or go around back behind the barn. Let him know you'll do it whereever, whenever, with whoever watching. Who knows, maybe you're a natural voyeur!

Even though you are supressing your jealousy, never allow another cow upstage you - this is your moment with your bull, not theirs.

Let him know you're there for him.

Any bull will get his joints in motion with a meer rubbing of the hooves from you, but his real erotic emotions won't come out unless he knows for a fact he is getting his hooves on your shoulder bones. Playing hard to get isn't in the cards when there's other cows around - only tease when he's already on top. "For many bulls out there, they know they will get it from someone eventually - make sure he knows you have nothing better to do than please him" says Butterup of Texas. "When I see him get that look in his eye, I normally just waltz right up, turn around, and graze right in front of him. He gets the idea real quick that I deliver".